please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
