Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
