dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
