I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
