Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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