Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
There r osticjed everywhere
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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