I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
