She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
