Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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