I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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