Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize