every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
