at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
