If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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