a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize