If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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