walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
