this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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