And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
