dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
