It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
