you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
