Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
40s are totally the cure
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Randomize
