New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
