The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
