how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
