No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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