Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
