I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
