Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
