I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
