you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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