and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
how does that bad decision feel?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
