So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
