Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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