Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize