dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
