Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
