My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
