just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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