We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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