singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize