She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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