Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
