butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
How naked do you want me to be?
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