how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
