did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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