She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
