That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
