Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
