I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
