sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
