hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
my poor anus
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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