he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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