I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
last night I used snow as a chaser
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
