bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
