people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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