She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
